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Beauty in Brokenness

By: Charity Keys

 

It has been three years since God blessed me to become a grandmother. This is one of the best
things that has happened in my life, but initially, I did not feel that way.


I suffered a miscarriage the week before I discovered that my daughter was pregnant. I was
devastated when I found out my daughter was pregnant because I did not want her to face
some of the same struggles as I had. The loss of my child and my daughter’s pregnancy made
me feel like my whole world was falling apart, and I had no one to turn to. My relationship with
my best friend (daughter) was broken. I did not understand why God allowed my daughter to
carry a life, but he took life from me. During this time, I did not feel the Lord’s presence or hear
His comforting voice.


I stopped attending church and serving in my ministry. I also began to isolate myself from
others. My heart was heavy. I lashed out at those I loved. That was all the enemy needed so he
could whisper in my ear all day and night about how I was not worthy, no one wanted me and
that I was not a good mother. 


I started listening to an audiobook by Sarah Jakes entitled, “Lost and Found.” As I sat in my car
for hours listening, with tears streaming down my face. I began crying out to God asking him to
release me from my anger, confusion, guilt and hurt. “In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried
to my God for help” (Psalms 18:6). I asked God to guide me and show me how to best support
my daughter. I realized that she was still a baby and I needed to be there for her. Today, God
has now strengthened both of us.

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